"The unattainable best is the enemy of all the available betters, because there are many, many versions of you that you could play out. All of which would result in a well designed life" (Bill Burnett).
I love the possibilites I have to prototype the person I am growing to be. I see it as a joyful thing; the opportunity to improve, learn, relearn, redo, reboot, stop doing. And try again wiser.
For over two decades I have traveled quite a bit, often times by myself to train, coach, meet, learn or get trained. Every time I go to a new place by myself and connect with new people, I always use the opportunity to prototype my authentic self, connect with my essence and seek for another chance to flourish. Instead of showing up with my flaws and limitations, I come with potential strengths that I am working on. Often times related with weaknesses. Because I am touching base with new people, they will take whatever I bring in. And they will see me according to the truth about myself that I choose to share and exercise. And then magic happens! I never feel so much progress in my self mastery path as I do while carrying this heart set to new opportunities.
The point is I do not believe in the idea of A best version. First, how do you know that you are there? And if you think you are, will you be done? What will happen next? I believe it is important to free ourselves from pursuing perfection so that we can enjoy the process of loving and living. Secondly depending on how your life unfolds or the decisions you make about how you want to live your life, you will invest and develop skills, talents, habits related with your choices that will shape your perceptions, beliefs and attitudes towards life. Ultimately, will shape you. Therefore, it is important to embrace an evolving identity instead of perfection.
My favorite questions to ask when I am leading a training are: what is your path not taken? If you were not doing what you are currently doing, what would you be doing? Was there a point in time in your life where you could have taken a different path? By looking back, it is easier to understand how much who we are or become is influenced by the choices and experiences we've had.
Did you ever wonder about the possibilities you have for yourself? The different versions of you related with the choices you make in life? How many lives are you? Is there just one possible best version? "Appoint yourself the agent of your own life and take ownership of your own development, career, creative spirit, work, and connections. Who do you want to be." (Susan David).
So instead of a best version, choose the authentic self. The good news is that you will know when you are there. No matter the life you choose to have, your essence and your element are a part of it. And the rest, comes with experience, learning, feeling, failing, relating, belonging, giving, creating.
My recommendations to you are: design your life the way it feels right and good for you. Imagine the version of you that will better fit the life you have designed. Identify what you need to learn, train, do, and above all stop doing. And then prototype it. You need a felt experience to move on. Go to places were no one knows you, engage in team activities with new people and exercise yourself. Your self discovery will reveal amazing things about what works for you. By being in your element and exercising your authentic self. Specially because you are away from your people that often times limit your progress with their preconceived ideas about you. If socializing with new people does not work for you, share with the people close to you that you trust what are you working on. Give them a chance to see your progress and help you out.
Secondly, recognize that there is no such thing as your one best version. Not only there are many skills and talents that can be advanced simultaneously, as it is always possible to perceive ways to grow into the next level. Instead of one best version, focus on your authentic self, generate possibilities and practice it. Reach the next level and enjoy the contemplation of the previous, younger and less experienced versions of you as a proof that the magic of life is not about a best version - whatever that is - but the fun of finding your authentic self, design possibilites that will fit you, prototype it, experimenting and looking forward for the push to the next level.
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